And the Dark Dirty Dog Does Dance

The Impact and Influence of Remorse:


The truth of suffering, Buddha said, "This is suffering, we should know. Once we know about suffering, then there is no more to know." Next, he said, "Since suffering does not arise without a cause, by knowing the causes of suffering, we would abandon and purify the causes and the origin of suffering.


This past week I was on location for a production in New York City with two people I care deeply about...the week was to be a celebration of the year in the life of our little company...and a chance to showcase to a large and tough market what Rustedblue can do...these two people I have a deep admiration and respect for....because well...I can tell they feel the same about me....At least that was until this past weekend..

You see im an upstart creative entrepreneur....which as difficult to me as this sounds it means, im broke, I leverage off people, and im something of hustler/Liar even.... I do this though because I believe in an idea...and I believe this idea is gonna help a lot of people...give them opportunities and inspire others in a chain reaction....and this idea drives me....and I have to pursue this idea...because it keeps me happy...it keeps me away from unhealthy distractions....At other points in my life that passion turned inward, ate me, haunted me.....because these distractions overcame me...as I danced with the Dark...Dirty Dog....!

Im learning some great lessons today about people, about choices, about keeping lessons learned in the past...in the past ty...in the past where the Dark Dirty Dog DOES DANCE....an a little more about finding Truth...Truth as Aristotle maintains that to know the truth of a proposition is to know what causes that proposition to be true. So when I suffer I can trace the pain to remorse. The remorse I feel today...The remorse for letting my team down...my family....so my truth is today failure because i made some poor choices...

You see...I was selfish...leading with my Ego....and wanting so much for us to be successful with our production...dont get me wrong...I want us all to succeed together...but, What I failed to see...was that we already where successful..no matter what anyone else in the room thought...because we had the mutual respect of each other....When other leaders in the room came down on the team....I failed to step up and shield my team from the assault...I failed to communicate the needs of the production clearly....and I lead my team out to battle with out protection...exposed behind enemy lines without protection....because of vanity.

As you can imagine this is not fun to reflect on...but if Im to become the kind of person I believe myself to be...If one is to become a leader... one must push themselves through this process of personal alchemy...and if we are to become the kind of team I believe us to be....we must suffer to find our truths against and with one another...and to grow our abilities past our current limitations...suffering and discomfort must be present in the process...I maintain...as a team we must also understand the weaknesses of one another...and I will maintain that if we hadnt met with the challenges and obstacles in our event and in the weekend in NYC...we wouldn't fully understand one another as we do now...we would have continued to shield our insecurities from one another..and when not made aware of each others traits been doomed to repeat the failure...unable to protect against the weakness the next time on the field of battle....Now can define where we personally need to grow....and where we need to hold one another when we fall.

A family descends into deep grief after a great loss...but not a depression...the grief and remorse will lead to great insights and growth if one is able...if one is at the ready to change the world...it will take time to heal...and there may be difficulty creating trust....but when the time of action comes to call the next time...the group will be better prepared....because they've been humbled...damaged....SOME SAY THEY WERE RUSTED....THEY were Rusted By the Weather of Life...By each other...by the one who was supposed to protect them from the elements....and they were melancholy because of it...THey were Blue....But when the sun rose over the mount the next day they were no worse for the wear....and in that sun grew a great tree ...and it gave life to the truth of their suffering....the fruits of a family...and though the pain may be bitter the fruit is not...

and the process of creation is chaotic, clever, painful, romantic, ecstatic, bold and beautiful as greatness is never easily managed but always well worth it.

To work through the process...is to work through our remorse...and through this process we will not turn not away....but rather...to look that Dark Dirty Dog in the Eye and Say...not this time you nasty cuss...they'll be no dancing today.

For My Partners ~

TY